Where'd The Condom Go?

Take a peek at those spiky ones!

Well after such a groundbreaking 24 hours, you couldn't expect the next one to be so pleasant, could you? Anytime you think that everything in life is just goin' swell, BAM! Karma comes after you for something evil you did and throws another curveball at you.

So last night we had some people over to drink away the dwindling hours of summer. As people began filing out, I texted Al and he meandered over. Since Al hadn't taken any sort of nap after returning home from camping [I took a two and a half hour coma] the poor guy was snoring on the couch by the time I said goodbye to the last person and locked the door.

I attempted to help pull my "little" darling up so he could go sleep in a bed but the deadweight of a college football player was no match for my inebriated muscles. Eventually I convinced him to move upstairs and we lay in bed cuddling for awhile. Well, despite his claim that he is "less horny than most guys," Al's hands start wandering and next thing you know, clothes are being flung onto the floor.

[Don't worry, I'll spare you the details] Things get heated up and we decide tonight's "the night." We talked about taking the next big step on a couple occasions and I finally decided I was okay with it not because I just wanted to or we waited long enough, but because we talked about it and I felt like we're on the same level with what we want and how we want the relationship to be.

Well, he slips on the condom and things are going well for a couple minutes and just as he changes positions I hear possibly one of the worst things a woman could think of during intercourse: "Umm, the condom fell off."

WHAT? My mind was racing and all I could think of was children, pregnancies, and abortions. I don't know what could kill a mood worse than thinking of children [and not trying for one] He makes a quick attempt to find the condom and can't even find it.

Now I'm even more frightened. I'm imagining triplets coming out of my vagina. No thanks.

Al asks me if I want him to find the condom or if I want to do it myself. I leap out of bed and head to the bathroom and tell him he better search around the bed and find the condom or his life is at risk. Turning on the light, I immediately find the condom and am flooded with a bit of relief that I wouldn't be making a humiliating visit to the doctor the next day.

And that was it. So much for the next big step. Al claimed he knew when it fell off and there was nothing I needed to worry about but as in inexperienced condom-putter-onner, I'm a little confused why it fell off so quickly. He seemed to make light of the situation maybe because he doesn't understand how scary pregnancy scares are.

People say a lot of things about your "first time" some say it sucks, or it hurts, or it is awesome. I was prepared for it to possibly suck. Digging out a condom was NOT what I was prepared for. It scares me to think that I could have made the same mistake my friends made in highschool, what I swore I would never do.

One things for sure, Round 2 may not be for awhile. Or at leas 'til I know I'm not baring quadruplets.