Alexander may be the best thing that has ever happened to me. Now, even as I write that, I consider it a large exaggeration. I can list off things in my life or things that were once in my life that have done far greater things than Alexander has done for me. However, I know that Alexander has the potential to change my life much more than what he has done thus far.
To begin, I must actually rewind. My childhood was full of a lot of sadness. Now, by no means am I saying I had it the worst. I grew up in rich suburbia with Mom, Dad, Sibling, and Fido [and several other pets]. I did, however, have a lot of obstacles thrown at me. Maybe if I look at it religiously, I had a lot of tests God put me through. You know, that whole idea that "if He put you to it, He will bring you through it" or "God will only give you what you can handle." Well I spent a lot of time telling myself that I was special, that's why I was always getting hurt, because God knew that I could handle it and other people couldn't. I felt special. For awhile. And then I just figured God was dead. So you get the picture that there's been a lot of heartache, sorrow, and general sadness? Good. Lets proceed to the present.
Alexander is incredible. When we started on this whole dating thing, I didn't even have to tell him I wasn't ready for things [physically or emotionally]. He never pushed too far. I mean, his timing for slowly getting closer and closer as a relationship has been impeccable. On the few occasions he would speak with my old roommate or a close friend [and they then pass on the information to me], he has even said how he didn't think I was ready or he didn't want to push too close because it would push me away. We've never had to have a "talk" of some sort to clarify things, the only reason we have talked is I suppose in a general sense, to find out more.
Now, you may judge me for the next part and think, "Valentine, these things should be a give" but as I spend more time with him, I get nervous about being close and falling really hard for him. I wasn't looking for a relationship and NEVER though I would date him of all people, but as I think about it more often, I see how great of a person he is, especially for me.
1. Alexander won't even touch drugs. Some of you may think that it is easy to find people like this, but at our age and our location, I don't think I could list more than five people who have NEVER done drugs, and definitely no more than ten who aren't using right now. Before you pass judgement, know my friends are either in college or have careers-very few are the stereotypical lazy hippie smoking pot all day on their mom's couch because I dislike lazy/unmotivated people and do not surround myself with the likes.
2. Alexander is not aggressive. Now that I think of it, in more than one way. Although he will fight someone, and has a good chance at winning against almost anyone, he doesn't unless he absolutely deems it necessary. More importantly though, is as I mentioned before, he never pushes things too far. Anytime we took another step to doing something more intimate, he would ask if I was okay, or if I was sure I wanted to do whatever. He does a lot more thinking with the big head than the little head. This is a brand new concept for me since my only other "intimate" relationship was one not of choice.
3. He's the monogamous type. He doesn't hook up. I think he told me that's he's kissed two girls that weren't his girlfriend.
4. Alexander's humor. He is by no means a stand up comedian. If put on stage he would most likely fail before the curtains finished opening. But he can keep a sense of humor in the midst of any sort of foreplay...as long as there's no jokes about anal sex. Which is okay, because I think I threw up a bit in my mouth just thinking about it. People take sex and similar physical contact too seriously.** Look at the human body. It's a joke. Look at a naked man and then look at a male cheetah or dolphin or elk [bull?] nature beholds so many beautiful creatures... the human penis is not one of them. Anyway, all I'm saying is that he is able to joke about practically anything which has been the antidote to my once very closed off, not-joking self.
5. He listens. Now before all you married females tell me that it's a lie, he's just good at pretending to listen just wait. It is rare that he lets me finish even a five minute story without an interruption. Sometimes, it's not the first time I tell him something. But he really does listen.
6. He talks. A lot. I've had boyfriends [aka my last one] that will not talk. It's that terrible conversation where you finish telling him about your day and you ask about his and all he says is, "Nothin'," or something to that extent. Over and over again. Every day. I love the fact that Alexander will call me and be excited to tell me a completely unimportant, useless story. And despite the fact that I tell Alexander at least once a week that he talks too much and I wish I had some duct tape, I would never trade it for the opposite.
7. Compliments. This one's a bit newer. Maybe only the last month or so. My God, does that boy [man?] dish out compliments. I don't think I've escaped his presence once in the last week without him telling me I'm pretty. Twenty times. He doesn't tell me I'm hot or sexy nearly as much as he sends me texts such as this: "Every time I think that I've seen the prettiest you ever, I see you again and you completely blow me away."
8. He's a family guy. He has a great, welcoming family who have all been overwhelmingly kind to me [again, something new to me]. His mother sends me occasional texts, gave me an Easter present, and even invited me to come visit her with or without Alexander. Despite the fact that Alexander's annoyingly close to his brother [whose moving here soon and will probably get more attention than me] I understand the importance of having a close family and for the most part I like seeing that.
So there it is. eight solid reasons I like Alexander. No one person can suit your needs and absolutely nobody is perfect. I do my best to look at his traits in a positive way because when you start getting picky is when your relationship starts to fail. I know, or I think I know, deep down Al is a great guy. I mean, God forbid I say the whole "he may be The One" line but for the time being, he is the one for me.
I firmly believe that you should only be with someone who pushes you to be a better person. I have seen Al's change over the months much easier than I have seen a change in myself but I do know that I am slowly changing. It scares me more than the darkest waters or wildest tornadoes to be in a long-term, serious relationship. Figuratively, my heart has been so broken, blended, and smashed, I have lost the capacity to care about all save a handful of things. I haven't felt happy since mid November of '08, and even that only lasted a couple days. But I know that if I still have the capacity to love, eventually, someday, maybe even hopefully, it will be Alexander.
**I'm not saying having sex with someone isn't a serious decision. I am not condoning the random hookup, one-night-stand-type sex. I actually have a lot of issues with things like that because careless intercourse, among other things, is deteriorating the health of the nation.
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